A Response to the Wall Street Journal

PsiAN Co-Founder and Chair, Linda Michaels Responds to Wall Street Journal.

Linda responded to this article, “Stop Constantly Asking Kids How They Feel,” which was written by Abigail Schrier about her new book, Bad Therapy: Why Kids Aren't Growing Up. Schrier's article, which was previously discussed on the PsiAN listserv, is concerning, as it offers glaring misrepresentations of real therapy, especially therapies of depth, insight and relationship.

Linda counters, and below is her letter to the editor:

Ms. Shrier confuses a superficial overfocus on “happiness” with real therapy and developing a rich emotional vocabulary, which is a highly useful and important way of gaining more information about oneself, one’s relationships and the world. The goal of effective therapy isn’t to cultivate happiness—if it were, that would indeed be bad therapy. Effective therapy helps people understand themselves and the root of their issues and answer important questions such as why have they fallen into repeated failed relationships or why do they sabotage themselves at work. For many, the way out of these perplexing problems lies in understanding feelings and fears they had buried or been too ashamed to acknowledge. 

We should be striving for greater emotional intelligence, not less, if we want people to live unburdened by depression and anxiety, form fulfilling friendships and relationships, and thrive in collaborative work environments. 

In my experience, what helps people is when they understand that their emotions and reactions make sense, that they aren’t crazy for feeling disappointed, injured, embarrassed, jealous or happy. Understanding our feelings and being able to use that information is a strength, the key to growth and resilience, and an outcome of good therapy.

— Linda Michaels, Psy.D.

March 2024